Saturday, February 27, 2010

If Rory Gilmore were a boy

Today I had lunch with my older son, who is a full-fledged adult and everything. Old enough to drink legally, even.
I'll wait while you try to figure out the math.
OK, time's up. Yes, I was extremely young when I had him, so young that it boggles my mind how little I knew about taking care of myself, much less being responsible for another human.

It was hard when he was little, because I had to sacrifice a lot of the teenage and twentysomething things many people in that age bracket take for granted. It was harder still when he hit adolescence, because I made some selfish decisions which had not-fantastic consequences for him.

But now that he's a little older, and has a capacity to understand that A) Mom was really young and inexperienced and didn't know what she was doing most of the time but B) usually had the best of intentions, our relationship has greatly improved. There is no one else I can talk to so candidly about many topics, and that includes my sisters and my husband. He is *so much* like me in so many ways, and so much better than me in a lot of other ways.

So we discussed Olympic hockey and why the modern American workplace is a ridiculous and unreasonable place, and ate Middle Eastern food. It was nice, and I wish we did it more often.

The now-defunct show "Gilmore Girls" was about a mom who got pregnant as a teenager (Lorelai) and her teenage daughter (Rory). It was one of my favorite shows ever, and while I was sad to see it canceled, it seemed like the right time for the characters, especially Rory, who had graduated college and was entering the workforce. That parent-child relationship of a mom who wants everything for her kid despite their less-than-auspicious beginnings, is a model for the kind of relationship I'd like to have with my older kid. They're not just parent-child, they're best friends.

Maybe we're not there yet, but I think we will be soon...

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